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“When someone is in your life for a reason……they are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and it is now time to move on.”—Iyanla VanZant (from her book “Acts of Faith”)
So many times in the last few years, I have found myself referring to these words. Life is like that, no matter what age you are, you will always experience loss of some kind. These are necessary losses, whether we choose to see them as such at the time, or not. We may not have felt prepared to deal with these losses, and certainly didn’t welcome them, but nonetheless the time to exit came.
Only in the rear view mirror can one see where the loss shaped us and how we grew in the process. I do have to add a caveat here. We will only move forward and grow, if we choose not to stay stuck in the past and if we choose to forgive the loss. If we hold a grudge for the loss, we won’t be able to let it go.
I have struggled many times with the “letting go” part.