A Tough Night Wrestling a Fluorescent Bulb

“Sorrow is a fruit. God does not make it grow on limbs too weak to bear it.” –Victor Hugo

One late evening when my child was seven, I decided to finally replace a fluorescent bulb from my kitchen’s light fixture. Here I am, an engineer, surely I can accomplish this minor household task, I thought, despite my procrastination. As bizarre as this sounds, I had never replaced a long tube fluorescent bulb and wasn’t familiar with these type of light fixtures. In great part that is why I postponed this. As a single parent, I have found myself in need of performing many “firsts” out of necessity.

Just Breathe

Leaving work late tonight (around 7:30 pm), I called my teen daughter to let her know. The huff and tone in her voice told me she was displeased that I left later than I initially planned.

Taking Care of Ourselves

"Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness."  ~Edward Stanley, Earl of Derby (Born 1799)

"It is exercise alone that supports the spirits, and keeps the mind in vigor."  ~Marcus Tullius Cicero, Roman Philosopher (Born 106 BC)  

"What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?" ~Randy Glasbergen, Cartoonist

In today’s hustle and bustle, even if we are intentional not to over commit, there are still too many demands for our attention. The place we likely carve out time is from our own personal space. The place reserved for taking care of ourselves, and where we build our reserves. This is the case for many, but for single parents, the demands are multiplied.

Chocolate Cake

It doesn’t matter how old your kids are. They have an uncanny way— no matter what age— to see right through you and get to the heart of the matter. They zero in precisely— like a surgeon with fine tuned surgical skills— to peel away the layer that’s often hidden from ourselves. Revealing our flaws, our inconsistencies, and double talk.

This evening after track practice, my daughter was starving when I picked her up. I discussed plans for dinner, which consisted of baking portabella mushrooms.

“Is that all we’re having for dinner?!” In shocked indignation that only a teenager can pull off.  Anyone who says moms are experts at piling on guilt trips, hasn’t met a teenager.

“No, I’m also going to make broccolini.” Bad mommy guilt has a voice, it said, Protein! Where’s the protein in this meal for my athlete?

Seeing as she wasn’t about to head into a restaurant without a shower, I suggested, “Take out!” She grinned the universal grin, the one known by children all across the world, when they get their way.

On the phone ordering our meal, I asked, ”Could you have them go light on the oil?” I’ve always been squeamish about too much oil in my food, especially when food is swimming in it.

“Do you want any salad, or dessert?”

What the heck, it’s Valentine’s day! Let’s go for a piece of chocolate cake!

Seconds after I hang up, I hear the voice. That once small, cute and sweet voice, now perfected with17 yr old sarcasm. “Oh! Light on the oil, but I’ll take the chocolate cake!”

A good laugh at myself, and a delectable chocolate indulgence, were a great combo for tonight’s menu. 

A Perfect South Dakota Snapshot

"Mom, I told you not to go down this road!” In agitated disbelief, my 7 yr old scornfully shook her head.

This was about to turn into a vacation that my daughter would never let me forget.

An avid amateur photographer that I am, I couldn’t resist taking a turn onto an unpaved road for the perfect shot.

Upon casual inspection, one couldn’t help but notice that both right tires sank inches into the pasty grey South Dakota clay.

My daughter couldn’t pass up an opportunity to admonish: “Oh my gosh! What are we going to do, mom!?” Followed with “I told you not to turn down this road! But no, you wanted to take a picture!”

Autopilot mother reassurance escaped “Don’t worry,” before I could sensibly assess the reality. The road is desolate and we’ve only passed two vehicles in the last couple of hrs we’ve driven.

We quietly stared off into the distance in both directions, as we tried not to focus on the sweat beads effortlessly rolling off, adding to the saturated landscape beneath our feet. A few feet away was the scenery that grabbed my attention initially, so I strolled camera in hand and started snapping.

In disbelief, my daughter squawked “Oh my goodness mom! I can’t believe you! We’re stranded and you’re busy taking pictures!”

Badlands, South Dakota

 “Sweety, we’re not going anywhere for a while, so we might as well enjoy the scenery.” 

40 minutes later, quite possibly 40 years- summer heat coupled with anxiety has a way of tricking the mind- A distant faint sound of tires sucking up pasty clay could be heard. Listening intently, one could hear the masculine roar of a well traveled truck, seemingly some thousand miles away.

“Will they see us and stop to help?”

“Sweety, I’m getting in the middle of this road to guarantee they sees us!”

My arms took flight like a propeller on a prop airplane. As the California license plates drew nearer, a wide-eyed 20 yr old guy emerged grinning.

“Thank You God!”  Truth be known, I was a bit fearful for our safety, since we were out there alone and vulnerable.  But God is good, and he sent non-threatening assistance.

The guy got out of his truck and scrambled for some thick nylon rope “It’s a good thing I packed this. I threw it in the back of my truck at the last minute, before leaving home. I had a feeling it would come in handy.”

“I’m so glad you did!”

As he tied the rope to the undercarriage of our rental, I attempted small talk, “You’re a long way from home.”

“I’ve been on the road now for a couple of months, visiting as many national parks as I can. All my friends are getting married and starting to have kids. I’m not ready for that, so I quit my job and decided this is the perfect time to take the trip I’ve always wanted to take.”

“I agree, what perfect timing!”

It didn’t escape me that everything had to be perfectly aligned and set in motion months prior, so that in this exact moment and location, a strong young guy in his truck, carrying strong gauge towing rope, traveling down this particular road- out of all possible roads- would arrive to rescue us.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8