Single Parent Faith

Monday, April 4, 2011

Thoughtful Email Reflections

Source:Google Search Images

In the world of internet dating, I respond or initiate an email only if after reading his profile there’s something in his words that moves me. I won’t respond “Nice profile,” and leave it at that. That’s such a lazy email. You might as well not say a thing. It’s obvious you didn’t read it, or worse, that you have nothing between your ears or in your heart. 

I want to share a couple of internet dating site emails I discovered while cleaning out files.  Truth be told, my membership lapsed recently and I have been in no hurry to sign up again. Unfortunately the number of people who put an honest effort into the process are very few and far between. These examples, however, redeem my impression of the internet process. 

Email 1:

My Email to him:
“I read your profile and found it to be most informative, sincere, and revealing of your heart. I understand about staring into the face of God when you look into the face of your baby. No matter how old my child becomes, I am still in awe of His miracle.

I also found your words about why God allows suffering, very soothing and soulful. Yes, I do know from my personal experience, that suffering I've experienced (as we all do at some level in this human existence), has been a vehicle for honing me and bringing me more into His likeness. I'm still a work in progress, however :)

Moments in weakness, when I feel tired, overwhelmed, in need of a Godly shoulder, and not one around, I have felt that alone-ness. When I begin to pity myself (and I have done the ol' whoah is me in my head many times), at some point I realize that this is the feeling I don't want others to feel. So I am driven to become for others what I have not had in my life. It takes the focus away from me, and its debilitating effects, and my energy is converted into being a comfort to others. I believe that if it were not for the quiet, struggling moments we endure, we would not willingly humble ourselves enough to reach out for our Father's hand to console us. Thereby, gaining the strength so we can be a Blessing to others. Have a Blessed day! –Ella”

His Email Response:
“Hello Lovely Lady. What a journey I have been on with the Christian sites. Thanks for the incredible spiritual insights. It is obvious God has your heart and you are following after Him. You will make someone a wonderful wife. I noticed your journeys took you through Paris and Notre Dame if I am correct. Likewise the famous Neuschwenstein Castle in Germany (have been four times...lived there 3 years...had roommate get engaged to his girlfriend from America looking at the castle from the bridge). I have been dating a wonderful lady from Houston for the past two months and am closing out my website accounts. I wanted to bless you for having the courage to reach out to me and communicate. I pray God will bring a real man your way to redeem you and your little one. I pray he will give you the unconditional love and respect you deserve. In Christ, Doug”

I don’t share like this, on internet dating sites, but in rare instances. Most profiles I read are not as profound and meaningful as his was. The last thing you want to do is open yourself up to strangers who are treating the process as a joke. These are the ones whose profiles are barely filled out or very few words written. They are not bearing anything, not sharing anything, and you should skip and move on to the next profile. On the rare occasion when you do run into a profile that’s written from the heart, you will know it because he/she will share some aspect of their vulnerability or soft side. This is someone who truly is ready to open himself up in a relationship. Ready to let someone in. Still tread carefully and slowly, because it takes “time” to get to truly know someone.  

Email 2:

This was part of what appeared in a guy’s profile:
“Why do people fear? What would the world of love be like if fear wouldn't exist? This is the definition of fear I found on Fear: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

Why do we fear when it comes to what ever it is we fear? My answer is we fear the REJECTION. I think rejection is one of the most things that are feared in all categories. Example we fear going up to someone and asking them out because we don't want to be rejected. Rejection can be bad to some of us and not as bad to others. We need to get over the fear and just let the Holy Spirit guide us. When we let the Holy Spirit guide us fear won't be near.”

My Email to him:
“Fear keeps us small and it does not come from God.  2Timothy 1:7 reads, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

As for rejection, we all experience it in one way or another throughout our lifetime. To "not" try or attempt something because we fear we will be rejected is tantamount to never leaving your house for fear of one day being caught in the rain. It will's part of the living experience. We'll get wet, our shoes may squeek, our hair may frizz, but after the rain subsides, we notice the sun.

Moving in God's direction means taking risks like going up to someone and asking them out. The worse they can do is say no. Their words only have meaning if you interpret them to hurt you. Realizing we all have different personalities and interests, and that there is no such thing as one man who will be the "right one" for "all" women, the mathematics says rejection is inevitable for everyone. Besides, you'll make someone's day, even if they say no. God Bless you.....and I hope you try reaching out to others, over and over again......”
Ella Venezia

Copyright © 2011 Ella Venezia. All Rights Reserved.


  1. Hi Ella, your post brought back some pleasant and unpleasant memories re internet dating. I have encouraged 2 friends to meet prospective matches that they had me 'screen.' Lo and behold, both resulted in great matches and marriage. I can't say the same for me and have been off ID for close to 9 months. I haven't been 'stirred' to do so and have sought guidance in this area. Whenever the spirit moves me I'll go back on. Is there any site you use in particular-that would be an interesting post, huh. Be well.

  2. Thank you Alvaredo for sharing the great news about the two friends who've met their spouses through the ID medium. It is encouraging. Unfortunately I have not met caliber guys who are serious about commitment. The ones I met were about the "hunt." I plan to write more in the future about it. In fact one of my book ideas is in this area.
    I wish I had a site to recommend. I really don't. But I can email you the name of the last one I used where for the most part the guys were respectful in their language.
    Great hearing from you! -Ella


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