Want to Date a Single Mom?— Things to Keep in Mind

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.” ~Sophia Loren

Talking to some single moms we got onto the subject of dating and how different it is— and should be— when a woman has children. Our priorities and focus are different from women with no children. Post kids, no longer do we put our individual desires front and center in our lives. We see the world through how our actions affect our children, and consequently, how the actions of those we let in, affect them as well. 

I have often found that guys who are not, nor have ever been a parent/guardian could use some tips prior to pursuing a single mom:

A Teen’s Brutal Honesty

“Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children.”  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Reflecting back to when my daughter was 13, I found a snapshot in time which highlights all too well how a parent has to maintain a sense of humor to withstand their kid’s gritty honesty.

One weekday morning as my daughter and I were already running late, I searched for a pair of slacks to put on. I soon realized the pickings were slim, since the day prior I forgot to pick up my clothes from the dry cleaners. I selected a pair of slacks which I had not worn for quite some time. They were purchased some 6 years prior, and they appeared obviously dated. I suppose that’s the danger in reaching deep into a clothing rack. 

Paris Amidst Teen Angst

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain

Recently I ran across this photo of my daughter taken during a trip to beautiful Paris, the week of her spring break. She was 14 years old at the time, already a very difficult period in teen years, which explains why her back is to me. 

When I discovered her sneakily placing a call back to the U.S. to talk to a certain guy from school, it thrust me into a state of fear, disappointment and parental guilt.

Reflections of 9-11

Ten years ago, on the morning of September 11, I drove my daughter to school, kissed her good-bye and went on my way to work, business as usual.  I turned on the radio and unlike a typical news day, this morning there was a heaviness clinging to the air, confusion among reporters as they speculated why a hijacked American Airlines Flight #11 out of Boston would plummet into the World Trade Center’s North Tower. This occurred at 8:46 a.m.  

A Tough Night Wrestling a Fluorescent Bulb

“Sorrow is a fruit. God does not make it grow on limbs too weak to bear it.” –Victor Hugo

One late evening when my child was seven, I decided to finally replace a fluorescent bulb from my kitchen’s light fixture. Here I am, an engineer, surely I can accomplish this minor household task, I thought, despite my procrastination. As bizarre as this sounds, I had never replaced a long tube fluorescent bulb and wasn’t familiar with these type of light fixtures. In great part that is why I postponed this. As a single parent, I have found myself in need of performing many “firsts” out of necessity.