Childlike Wonder—What I love about Parenthood

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”— Anonymous

It’s common for parents to commiserate with each other regarding the challenges of raising kids. Though the task is overall an arduous one, it is the most significant and meaningful life experience most of us will ever have.

I see Parenthood as a Blessing. Regardless of whether one biologically delivered the child, parenthood in all it’s variety of ways that we come upon it, is truly a second chance for us adults to learn.  The teaching moments we may have slept through, as often adults do while under the thumb of careers, responsibilities, stress, and the like, arrive again as a wake up call, challenging us to now listen, lest we miss it again. 

Where do Bullies Learn to Bully?

“Those who can, do. Those who can’t, bully."—Tim Field

I just finished watching Anderson Cooper’s Townhall, “Bullying – It Stops Here” and couldn’t help but wonder, where are these bullies picking up on this bully behavior?

What makes a bully, a bully? Somewhere in their own personal lives they may be victimized and bullied themselves.  Kids don’t come out of the womb bullying. This is a learned behavior.  This behavior is being modeled for them, perhaps even encouraged.

This is such a multi-tiered problem. It doesn’t appear to be as simple as being birthed in schools and staying there after these bullies graduate high school. A few years ago I experienced a manager at work who was trying to manipulate and bully me. During that time I ran across a book while at B&N and purchased, Robert Sutton’s, “The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't.” The book reinforced that companies must deal head on with these bully individuals before they inflict further damage to employees and the companies they work for. You can read about Mr. Sutton's motivation to write the book here.

Surely there must be a connection between adult bullies and younger ones.

Want to Date a Single Mom?— Things to Keep in Mind

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.” ~Sophia Loren

Talking to some single moms we got onto the subject of dating and how different it is— and should be— when a woman has children. Our priorities and focus are different from women with no children. Post kids, no longer do we put our individual desires front and center in our lives. We see the world through how our actions affect our children, and consequently, how the actions of those we let in, affect them as well. 

I have often found that guys who are not, nor have ever been a parent/guardian could use some tips prior to pursuing a single mom:

A Teen’s Brutal Honesty

“Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children.”  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Reflecting back to when my daughter was 13, I found a snapshot in time which highlights all too well how a parent has to maintain a sense of humor to withstand their kid’s gritty honesty.

One weekday morning as my daughter and I were already running late, I searched for a pair of slacks to put on. I soon realized the pickings were slim, since the day prior I forgot to pick up my clothes from the dry cleaners. I selected a pair of slacks which I had not worn for quite some time. They were purchased some 6 years prior, and they appeared obviously dated. I suppose that’s the danger in reaching deep into a clothing rack. 

Paris Amidst Teen Angst

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain

Recently I ran across this photo of my daughter taken during a trip to beautiful Paris, the week of her spring break. She was 14 years old at the time, already a very difficult period in teen years, which explains why her back is to me. 

When I discovered her sneakily placing a call back to the U.S. to talk to a certain guy from school, it thrust me into a state of fear, disappointment and parental guilt.

Reflections of 9-11

Ten years ago, on the morning of September 11, I drove my daughter to school, kissed her good-bye and went on my way to work, business as usual.  I turned on the radio and unlike a typical news day, this morning there was a heaviness clinging to the air, confusion among reporters as they speculated why a hijacked American Airlines Flight #11 out of Boston would plummet into the World Trade Center’s North Tower. This occurred at 8:46 a.m.  

A Tough Night Wrestling a Fluorescent Bulb

“Sorrow is a fruit. God does not make it grow on limbs too weak to bear it.” –Victor Hugo

One late evening when my child was seven, I decided to finally replace a fluorescent bulb from my kitchen’s light fixture. Here I am, an engineer, surely I can accomplish this minor household task, I thought, despite my procrastination. As bizarre as this sounds, I had never replaced a long tube fluorescent bulb and wasn’t familiar with these type of light fixtures. In great part that is why I postponed this. As a single parent, I have found myself in need of performing many “firsts” out of necessity.